Have you ever found yourself getting angry or upset over something that seems trivial or insignificant? Maybe someone cut you off in traffic, or your coworker made a comment that rubbed you the wrong way. It's easy to get caught up in these small annoyances and let them ruin our day. But what if we could find the treasure in the trigger? What if we could shift our perspectives to take that trigger and go treasure hunting, excitedly diving into the deep dark part of ourselves to find a treasure that can now sparkle in the light, it certainly brings some play and enchantment to the long and challenging healing process.
The truth is, our triggers can be powerful tools for self-discovery and growth. When we feel angry or upset, it's often a sign that something deeper is going on beneath the surface. Maybe we're feeling stressed or overwhelmed, or maybe there's an old wound that's been triggered.
Instead of pushing our triggers away or trying to ignore them, we can use them as an opportunity to explore what's really going on. Here are a few steps you can take to find the treasure in the trigger:
1. Pause and breathe. When you feel yourself getting triggered, take a moment to pause and take a few deep breaths. This can help you calm down and get some distance from the situation. This can be so very hard, in fact - just recently I was in a situation where I found myself taking deep breaths and trying to calm my nervous system down, and I noticed that coming back to my awareness was a real challenge.
Tip: I find wiggling my toes can bring me back to my body and out of my triggered mind. Being able to detach is obviously something that gets easier with practice, which means that conflict and triggers are needed to strengthen our emotional muscles, as uncomfortable as that is.
2. Ask yourself what's really going on. Take a few moments to reflect on what might be causing your reaction. Is there something deeper going on beneath the surface? Some triggers can be resolved easily, others take time and care. Not all resolutions can be done instantaneously.
Tip: If you find yourself being triggered and it's something that you feel quite deep within your body and you know is going to take time to unravel, I suggest acknowledging that you are aware of it, thank it for showing up, then using your imagination, take those reactions of thoughts, feelings, emotions, and sensations - as if it were a file folder of documents - and come back to open that folder when you have time to reflect.
3. Look for the asset in the anger. Instead of focusing on the negative emotions, try to find the positive qualities that are being triggered. For example, if you're feeling angry because someone is being disrespectful, it might be because you value respect and integrity. I find that it's important that we understand that we have no way to control what others are doing or saying, discovering that we as sovereign beings have the ability to choose how we feel based on how we think can really bring more peace to our lives.
4. Practice self-compassion. Remember that it's okay to feel angry or upset sometimes. Be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to feel your emotions. There are 88 keys on a standard piano, if each key represented your emotions, playing one note for your whole life would sound pretty dull - no beauty in that in my opinion!
By taking the time to dive for treasures, we can uncover deeper truths about ourselves and our values. We can learn to respond to difficult situations with more compassion and understanding, and we can find the treasures that are now able to glimmer in the light of discovery. Over time the treasure will be held and observed, appreciated and accepted, and one day will become a priceless asset to you, and the generations to come.
All my love,
Krista
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