"Once you accept when you have done everything you can do, you surrender it. Let it go to the power and energy that's greater than yourself " - Oprah
About 6 years ago, before I became pregnant with my son John, I was in a bliss state of what seemed to be the beginning of yet another spiritual awakening. Everything that I experienced was pure joy, my heart and mind were open and I felt so connected to everything and everyone.
I had just went into a deep meditation and connected to my higher self for the first time on purpose - I took slow breathes as I stared into the flame of a candle. After just a few moments of focus and asking "what's next", I heard the voice of my heart telling me "Life Coach". I came out of the meditation with a sense of clarity that made my bliss state even more ecstatic. I had direction!! In that moment I decided to listen to that voice and get started on this life path. I first brought my knowledge to my place of work and created and taught a "how to be your own life coach" session and presented a stress buster program to the head of office - which was a big deal for me at the time. I woke up early everyday to learn more about how to be a guiding force for others, yet the more I learned, the more I realized how much I didn't know, the more I digested the more self healing I realized had to be done.
I had just tasted the potential of this future when I became pregnant and my focus shifted drastically. I put my dream of becoming a leader and a coach on hold while I focused all of my attention on making sure the needs of my children were met. What happened to over the next 7 years was not only the most difficult time that I ever experienced, battling self doubt, fear, anxiety and depression, but it was also the most transformational journey in discovering an even deeper calling on my life. You see -I gave my kids all of me, repeatedly every day, it became a habit, I didn't even realize it had taken over me and my sense of freedom. My children became the first thing that I thought about when I woke up and before I'd go to sleep. It was very rare for me to ask how I could be better for them. I was treading rough water with a tired body and mind. I tried to do it all myself, I tried to be a super mom, NEVER wanting to reveal how difficult it was on me. During the process of reflection I realized that the greatest struggle for me was due to a feeling that I had betrayed and abandoned part of myself. This is a typical wound of an empath, always being something for others, the glue, the counselor, the helper, and forgetting our own needs. What I needed more than ever was a sense of my own individualism, apart from being a mom and a wife, a friend, and a sister.
In 2020 I made a radical change, I affirmed to myself "I no longer will tread the rough waters, I will learn how to be the ocean". I started opening up my doors to receive help, I learned how to say no and I started the terrifying yet rewarding journey of self-expression. I knew that it was time to reconnect to this dream and my life vision. I started little by little, one day at a time, reclaiming my zest for life and stepping into the person that I always imagined myself to be. I made a proclamation to own and heal parts of myself that were still hiding in the shadows so I could let go of the old me and co-create the new me with my higher self and God.
I believe that the lows that we experience in life are just a natural cycle, like the ebbs and flows of the tides. I believe that these moments are meant to help us rise higher - you can't jump high without first bending your knees- sinking lower to rise higher. That dream of being a life coach has evolved through my own evolution. I now take a more back-seated approach in observation and mentorship, basking in the light of each day and knowing that when I rise to be all of me with the intention for the greater good the gates of opportunity and abundance open up in the most sensational ways and I am able to help others by just being the highest most authentic version of me.
How can life get any better than this, today is all I ever wanted! Yet there is another tomorrow to step forward in the direction of my vision, my calling guides me each day to BE exactly whom I am meant to be.
Warmly,
Krista
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