When my son was recently diagnosed with ADHD, it felt like a whirlwind of emotions. Relief, confusion, worry, and, surprisingly, a sense of recognition. It was as if I was looking into a mirror reflecting parts of myself that I had never fully understood. The journey to understand his diagnosis has become a path of self-discovery and healing for me too.
"ADHD is like having a TV with 100 channels, but the remote control is broken."
This quote perfectly encapsulates the chaos and frustration my son experiences daily. His mind is constantly buzzing with thoughts, ideas, and distractions. One moment, he's fully engrossed in a drawing, and the next, he's forgotten about it entirely, distracted by a new toy or a passing truck outside. Watching him struggle with these rapid shifts in focus, I saw a reflection of my own scattered thoughts and unfinished projects.
"It's not that I don't want to do it; it's just that my brain won't let me."
My son often says he wants to complete his homework or clean his room, but something always seems to derail him. This resonates deeply with me. For years, I've berated myself for procrastinating, forgetting important tasks, or not following through on plans. Realizing that these behaviors might also be rooted in ADHD was a revelation. It wasn't laziness or lack of discipline; it was a genuine neurological challenge.
"Having ADHD is like being in a constant state of motion but never actually getting anywhere."
The frustration my son feels is palpable. He starts so many things with enthusiasm but rarely finishes them. His toys, books, and art supplies are scattered throughout the house, evidence of his many fleeting interests. I, too, have left a trail of unfinished projects in my wake, each one a reminder of my struggle to maintain focus and see things through. Understanding that this is a common experience for those with ADHD has brought me a sense of empathy for both my son and myself.
"The hardest part of having ADHD is that people expect you to be normal, but you're not."
Society often doesn't understand ADHD, leading to misconceptions and unrealistic expectations. My son's teachers sometimes mistake his inattention for a lack of effort. Friends and family have questioned why he can't just "try harder." I've faced similar judgments throughout my life, feeling misunderstood and inadequate. Recognizing that ADHD is a genuine and challenging condition has been liberating. It's helped me advocate for my son and seek accommodations that support his unique needs.
"ADHD is not a disorder of knowing what to do; it is a disorder of doing what you know."
This insight has been a game-changer for me. It's not that my son—or I—doesn't know what needs to be done. It's the execution that's the hurdle. With this understanding, I've started implementing practical strategies to help us both. Visual aids, structured routines, and immediate rewards have become invaluable tools in managing our daily lives.
Understanding my son's ADHD diagnosis will continue to be eye opening. I feel it will bring us closer and allow me to approach parenting with more patience and compassion. More importantly, it's helped me to better understand myself and to let go of years of self-criticism. We're learning together, and in supporting him, I'm also healing the parts of myself that have struggled in silence for so long.
As we navigate this path, I hold onto the belief that ADHD, while challenging, is also a unique way of seeing the world. It's a reminder that our differences are not deficiencies but part of the beautiful mosaic of human experience. By embracing these differences, my son and I are learning to thrive, one step at a time.
Here are some tips and strategies to Improve Follow-Through that I've collected to help us out:
Simplify and Prioritize Reminders: Break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps and prioritize them to reduce overwhelm and make it easier to take action.
Visual Aids and Tools: Use visual aids like calendars, to-do lists, and apps designed for task management to keep reminders in sight and top of mind.
Routine and Structure: Establishing a consistent routine can help integrate reminders into your daily habits, making it easier to follow through.
External Cues: Use alarms, timers, and sticky notes in strategic places to reinforce reminders and prompt action.
Accountability Partners: Sharing your goals and reminders with a friend, family member, or coach can provide external motivation and accountability.
Immediate Rewards: Pair tasks prompted by reminders with immediate rewards to increase motivation and follow-through.
Mindfulness and Focus Techniques: Practices like mindfulness meditation can improve attention and awareness, helping you to stay focused on tasks and follow through on reminders.
I hope this helps you out!
Warmly,
Krista
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